The Sapling - Year One

Any journey associated with a passion requires the right amount of “cinematic flair”. Whether you find yourself falling in the Aristotelian camp of “Art imitating Life” or the Wilde-ian Out camp of the inverse, there is an undeniable connection between the two. It is why we connect so deeply to different forms of art, and why we all have those, “I should write a book”, or, “They could make a movie of my life” moments. 

It is also why we are provided with so many maxims regarding these journeys within the journeys within the journey. The one thing we can all relate to, as human beings, is that we are one place, for a brief, singular moment, before we are whisked to the next brief, singular moment, (and so on forever). Our independence, our uniquity, comes in our perceived or proclaimed destination. For each part, for each path, for each port-of-calling, our projected lives scream of major metropolitan mass transit maps. 

So, where is this particular article going? 

Basketball has been a passion of mine since I first began playing in 2nd Grade. It has brought me life-long friendships and countless experiences for personal growth, both in positive-and-triumphant ways and challenging-and-defeating ways. After numerous reminders from my body during middle and high school athletics that I may not have been physically made for high-intensity, competitive sports, my interests shifted to the strategic and intellectual side of the game. They had to if I wanted to remain relevant in the world of my passion. As a junior attending Emory University in Atlanta, my craving for involvement in the game took me on a short walk from my dorm to Druid Hills High School and a dungeonous, ill-equipped weight room, where I spoke with then  Head Boys Basketball Coach Allen Craine. Now, 15 seasons later, I have accepted an offer to become Head Boys Basketball Coach at St. Augustine High School in St. Augustine, Florida. 

Has it been a “script-worthy” passage of time? Mostly in that the nature of Sports is. I tend to be a little less dramatic than the screen would request. For example, as a junior in high school on the Varsity team, I was tasked with keeping the shot chart during a game. As the clock wound down, a senior on our team hit a three-pointer to win the game at the buzzer. As everyone jumped off the bench and rushed the court, I had made sure to mark the shot on my chart before joining in the celebration. Priorities. (Nerd). So no, no one is going to be making a movie of my “side-career” anytime soon. 

Nor is this the culmination of anything. As one explores and experiences the joys of coaching, there are two very clear concepts: 1) Don’t calculate your hourly pay, and 2) Coaching is coaching. Whether at the professional level or with a bunch of ornery, snack-crazed five year-olds, the act of sharing the skills, strategies, and love of an activity is what makes coaching, well, coaching. Mix in the opportunity to have a positive influence on individuals through a conduit of their own interest, (or one applied to them by their parents' desperation to get them out of the house and burning off some of their energy), it is something that I would do free of charge. This was generally the case for 12 of those 15 seasons. 

However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited at the opportunity.

I’m sure there will be plenty of posts to come on the subject, but I would be remiss if I didn't take the opportunity to acknowledge not “from where I’ve come”, but “from whom”. (In fact, the whole reason I opened to write this was to do so). The “Coaching Tree” is a concept that those familiar with sports know well, and that those who aren’t can easily figure out. Philosophies, strategies, methods passed down through the filter of proximity and shared experiences; mentorship rare to find outside of the world of athletics. These often unstated and unexamined bonds that appear suddenly, similar to when one finds themself “turning into their parents”. I am blessed to have been a part of so many positively influential Trees and know that I would not have ever faced this opportunity without each year of coaching experience under or alongside so many different individuals. 

My time at Druid Hills under Coach Craine introduced me to the coaching side of high school sports, and gave me a much needed experience with diversity. As the season ended during my senior year at Emory, I remember standing in the gym and knowing that this was not going to be something that I could live without. Coach Steve Messer welcomed me to the staff at my alma mater for a year between undergrad and grad school. (Ok, maybe this year had a bit of cinematic flavor as I worked third-shift to hold a job but still have a chance to coach). During this time, Coach Chad Freeman, (also an assistant coach during my playing days), handed me the reins for one JV game, the scorebook entry for which I still have. During my time in East Lansing, Hall of Fame Coach Dan Stolz accepted me to the Okemos family. My time coaching alongside him and Matt Dickerman provided even more insight into running a successful program through being the model of a “good man” for high schoolers. I returned to Hersey after graduating and spent more time in a Messer program, working alongside Sean Gudaitis and Rick DiVito. There was never a moment at Hersey where “forming men from boys” was not the clear priority of the coaching staff. Then a move to Florida. My first task after accepting a job at a Montessori school was to procure the opportunity to coach locally. Tim Winter brought me on at St. Augustine High School and, when he handed the program over to Coach Cooper, he, too, saw enough in me to keep me around. He then accepted the AD job and doubled-down on me, offering me this opportunity to lead an entire program with a strong foundation of success on and off the court. 

These men, (and others listed below), have all contributed to my education as a high school basketball coach and an educator of young men, and are with me in my (brief) celebration of my new role (before having already dove headfirst into planning). The world outside of the coach’s office often overlooks successes but is quick to point out failures. It is a thankless job. But, I will give them credit during successes and take all the blame for failures. And I can give nothing but thanks to them and for them. 

The easy, and probably traditional, method of ending this post would be to find the quote of some well-known basketball coach...I’m not quite sure about the easy way. So as I finish this post and “begin” life as a Head Boys Basketball Coach, I lead you a little outside of the box-and-one (basketball joke) with this sentiment about the continuation of my coaching “career” into season 16, ironically with a cinematic reference: 

“There’s not a word yet; for old friends who’ve just met.” - Gonzo, The Muppet Movie

Ok, maybe it would make a good story, but not until a few more scenes are written...

Additional thanks to Coaches: Ken Husser, John Novak, Don Rowley, Reggie Lumpkin, Coach Bryant (I’m not sure I ever really knew your first name), Greg Keadle, Justin Penio, Jeff Gurvis, Tyler Hersey, Carter Briggs, Guy Calise, BJ Esguerra, Markis Merrill, Johnny Allen

More thanks to all of my friends and teammates for challenges, support, and tolerating my quirks.

Even more thanks to every player I have ever had the privilege of working with. Thankful that social media has allowed me to keep up with the quality individuals you are growing into.

As Ego, We Go

As an Upper Elementary Guide, working with students from 9 to 12 years old, I am often confronted with, and confront my students with, the oncoming doom of puberty and adolescence. My job is to present the final gauntlet of human experience before they either forget it all or don’t want to hear anything resembling advice from anyone ever! UGH! (Capturing such angst in writing is the sign of true genius, or madness, both of which I am lacking). What I have seen trending in my years as a teacher is that students…children…are often hitting puberty before they have had a chance to fully secure confidence in themselves that should alleviate some of the confusion and chaos that follows. Adding to the physiological mess of it all are the increased social demands, real or perceived, that make a scuffle a brawl.

How then does this affect our young athletes and their ability to manage school, social life, and a competitive field? How do we recognize the signs of psychological burnout and misdirection and its impact on the fragile emotional component in regards to sport? How do we resist our urge to (metaphorically) strangle the living daylights out of them and attempt to contact that scared, confused, and eager young adult that got lost in the big scary world?

It is going to take an investigation into Ego (of which I will provide a brief glimpse) and an attempt to highlight the urgency of supporting these creatures at an early age, especially ones who plan to participate in any competitive field.

The Freudian Slip-pery Slope

Sigmund Freud often gets a bad rap. (Or does he? Do people still talk about him? Has the public’s opinion changed?) We aren’t here to discuss anything more than his theory of the Three Stooges of personality: the id, the ego, and the super-ego. In short, the id represents basic instincts and impulses and is impulsive and irrational. (Study trick: use all words that start with “i” to remember what the id is). The super-ego strives for perfection and achievement of morals; one’s conscience. The ego attempts to operate between these two forces, balancing impulses (id) and inhibitions (super-ego) while maintaining rationality and testing reality.

At this point, you may be confused, asleep, both, or worse…left wanting more. (For those of you who feel this final way I will include some resource links at the end). To narrow the focus of our purpose, the Ego is driven by the id, but attempts to find was to express these desires in a socially acceptable way. Now, let’s superimpose that on the generic definition of “ego”: a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.

Obviously, mixing a splash of Freud with anything will take it up a notch, so I want to caution against a full marriage of these two ideas. However, if we identify the ego of a young athlete as a mix of both of these thought-camps, we are left with an explosive combination that explains the dramatic swings they are capable of experiencing and expressing.

The New Student-Athlete

Especially true for middle and high school student-athletes, life can be demanding, confusing, exhausting, confusing, and demanding. (Exactly). Not only do they face adolescence, but now navigation of a new, expanded social network, an array of external pressures and expectations, and increased exposure to their peers’ performances. The headline match-up becomes:

Ego Development vs Ego Protection

For a teenage athlete, this is the epitome of a zero sum game. Already in a constant, delicate state, there are still many external factors to consider. Has previous performance garnered high-praise such as local or national ranking? Has a depth-chart reflected an appropriate and realistic fish-to-pond ratio? Has a social group constructed a pedestal? Have parents and family members provided a support system that reflects an actual potential? Some of these external factors are also internally sparked. Has the athlete created a social media presence that accurately depicts their skill level? Does the athlete remain humble and driven or do they seek acknowledgement and notoriety? Where does the balance tip between looks and performance?

Does anyone envy this new breed? Would anyone choose to enter into this melting pot of passion, personality, and profile?

What Does It Mean For Coaches?

How many interactions can you remember with your athletes that made you cringe? Those “non-traditional” young athlete responses that look and feel more like a multi-million dollar athlete disagreeing with him multi-million dollar coach about how the game should be played? Those tantrums and emotionally (I’m really running out of synonyms for “fragile” at this point) disparate instances demonstrating Pride and Shame within a moment’s time?

Of course, we are encountering these student-athletes at their most vulnerable, in an arena that they may have created as a haven! If they struggle to keep pace with the image they have promoted of themselves within their sport, then they will undoubtedly react to protect that image. As a result, our best athletes are frequently the least coach-able, and dangerously, the least reachable.

It doesn’t help that their professional counterparts, also more exposed and publicized than ever before, are experiencing and demonstrating the shift to a “gotta look out for me” mindset even within team sports. (I don’t envy the history and mismanagement that has led to the business side of sports creating such animosity). But we need to improve our ability to not just coach, but teach and mentor as well, even when, especially when, we are closest to losing our tempers with our athletes.

How Do We Help Foster Personal Success?

Empathy is the first step in not kicking these athletes off the team. Minor joke, major point. We may not have all gone through that time of life with the same variables in play, but we have all gone through it. We have the hindsight to look back and understand its value, and recognize the coaches and teachers that meant the most to us during that struggle. We now have the opportunity to be those mentors.

Demonstrating the abandonment of Ego Protection in favor of Ego Development can benefit all parties involved. To show our palms to our athletes can help them see us as champions of their growth, not obstacles to it.

Open communication is valuable, but we need to remember that we may just be more static to all the noise they are attempting to manage. Listening may be something that few of those other influences are offering. Remember, all of their peers are probably going through the same issues at the same time. It is rare for those young adults to have the maturity to sit down and give each other the opportunity to speak with someone genuinely listening to what they have going on.

Finally, remember that regardless of your psychoanalytical leanings, they are going through some internal battles. They may reveal a lot of their challenges and struggles through the opportunity of sport. As always, we must observe, adjust, and coach, in all of our unique deliveries and approaches. On any given day, the biggest competition they are facing may not be the game on the schedule, and our jobs are about much more than wins on the court.

Own Your I

Additional Resources:

Google search: Id, ego, super-ego; Freud; Psychoanalysis; Ego

MetaStory Telling - Using Symbolism and Metaphor in Daily Life

As we “ring in” a new year, as we collectively return to the general physical location among the cosmos where we last celebrated our lap around our star, we are inundated with cliche. As a writer, it can be gag-inducing; it is cute like a child mimicking its parents. In the moment acceptable, but upon further review it simply lacks creativity and depth. However, the cyclical nature may hold a secret to unlocking a deeper personal power and control for each and every one of us.

MetaStory Telling

The Art of storytelling is still essential to the Human Experience. Traditionalists carry-on with literature and film, while literally everyone has the resource of audience through social media. From Homeric epics to 30 second TikToks, “authors” are able to direct and dictate almost every component of the story. A simple inflection could be the key to an accessible understanding of the control and influence we each have upon our own character development and plot.

Being not only the protagonist of our own tale, but the omniscient narrator and writer as well places in our hands the power to create the past, present, and future that we envision for our hero/heroine. For many, it will take only a shift of awareness from “controlling appearance through what is shared” to “controlling perception of all that is experienced”. Limiting the audience to ourselves, not the general public, jumpstarts the honest, genuine relationship with our character. This act of “MetaStory Telling” brings a whole new value to “New Year, New Me”.

Symbolism and Metaphor

Symbolism (n.) - the use of symbols to represent ideas or qualities; symbolic meaning attributed to natural objects or facts

Metaphor (n.) - a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable

So our planet circles the sun? So December 31 becomes January 1? We are the same person we were the day before. Maybe a little more tired, maybe a little more rejuvenated, maybe with new goals and aspirations with new life breathed into them. Let’s use this as authors of our stories! Let’s not stop at the cliches and the hashtags. Let’s not leave it to chance or stamina to find out if we will find our successes. As we can extend the metaphor of our calendar changing to parallel the birth, growth, death, and rebirth of a character, let’s acknowledge the symbolism of the moment to “begin a new chapter”.

Giving yourself a fresh start is only harmful if you ignore from whence you have come. By depleting your protagonist (you) of the trials and tribulations, the victories and failures, the Rom-Com/Horror/Holiday/Action/Silent-Film storylines that you have experienced, you erase the character development, you take away from the richness and likability of your character. Remember, this has nothing to do with ANYONE but YOURSELF! The consideration, however, of how invested you are in your story will continue to influence and possibly determine that path your plot takes on a daily basis.

Manifestation vs. MetaStory Telling

Manifestation seems “en vogue”, but is this not just story telling without the effort of literary development? How rewarding is it for our hero/heroine to just be given the keys to successful conflict resolution? How relatable to see a protagonist overcome nothing to receive the greatest of gifts? Having goals and outcomes are essential to telling a good story, but those characters we cry for, those characters we cheer for, those characters we accompany through their journeys are ones that we can connect with. Why cheat yourself out of the connection with yourself, as your own character in your own story?

Cliche Away

So as I pull back from my first post of the new year, I can’t help but recognize the metacliche. I am still saying, “New Year, New You”, I am still promoting the use of an insignificant moment to ignite a significant response. The greatest advice has already been given. Different cultures, different philosophers, different translations have all imparted upon us the greatest of human knowledge. It seems however that it is in slight refinement that many find their true calling, their ultimate power in their own life. I consider myself a storyteller and have practiced and refined my craft for years. It is not an unobtainable skill, in fact more of us are storytellers now than may have ever existed before in the history of mankind. Maybe we simply need a push to shift our intended audience. Maybe we simply need to know that we can write our own story, we can manipulate our own plot, we can be our own hero/heroine.

Happy New Year and Happy Writing,

Own Your I