The Problem
Coaches and Parents, I beg of you to stick with me at the beginning of this article. Believe me, I have been in the situation we are all envisioning:
A student, an athlete, a child fails to some degree at a task and responds to criticism, or redirection, or questioning with, “My bad.”
We all know the range of this failure has at least two scales. One is the actuality of the failure in terms of expected tangible outcomes and the other is how intangibly irritating their failure is to those of us in charge of the situation.
The normal, natural, and totally acceptable response, (ideally controlled enough to remain in our heads), is, “You’re [expletive] [combo expletive option] right it’s ‘YOUR BAD’! Whose else would it be?!”
Often, “My bad” is just as progressive as "I’m sorry” can be for children and young adults. They have no real desire to address, acknowledge, or investigate the ins-and-outs of their mistakes, so they offer a transition phrase with the intention of moving things along. Sometimes it may be meant to convey “I understand”, sometimes it may be meant to convey “get off my back”. Either way, it can be infuriating to those of use attempting to teach them an appropriate way of doing things or give them advice on how to improve their own standing and performance.
But what if? What if we were able to turn the tables on their attempt to sidestep a situation? What if we were able to use their moment of weakness to empower them? What if we could take “My bad” and help turn it into their good?
The Task
When do young, growing humans need more empowerment than in their most embarrassing, vulnerable moments? More, how do we help empower the ones who are passing on those failures as insignificant and meaningless? Entering into the task should be perceived as a contract, and a contract which comes with a failure clause: you may not succeed and that is just part of the deal. Understanding this before attempting anything is paramount to the “growth success” of the task.
With that understanding, (or those teachings after we have worked with individuals to embrace that reality), why not take “my bad” and agree with them? Not in the sense we all love to mentioned above, but in a way that acknowledges their part in the result as powerful and purposeful.
In the midst of a culture with a “victim mindset”, at least these individuals are expressing their own role in the story-line of their lives. Let’s take “My bad” and encourage our young subjects to take that same control and apply it to making amends or turning the tides. It is a simple concept, but one that will trap them in their own influence upon their life and their circumstance. Even if just for that one “ah-ha” moment while they are trying to process or deflect a moment of missing the mark, we can not only support them but help to train the instinct of immediately seeing the first step to recovery.
Simple but effective.
Own your “My bad”.
Own Your I
Extended Research
There are some sources that say former NBA Player Manute Bol may have actually lead the popular use of the phrase.
https://www.visualthesaurus.com/cm/wordroutes/the-manute-bol-theory-of-my-bad/