Turning "My Bad" into Good

The Problem

Coaches and Parents, I beg of you to stick with me at the beginning of this article. Believe me, I have been in the situation we are all envisioning:

A student, an athlete, a child fails to some degree at a task and responds to criticism, or redirection, or questioning with, “My bad.”

We all know the range of this failure has at least two scales. One is the actuality of the failure in terms of expected tangible outcomes and the other is how intangibly irritating their failure is to those of us in charge of the situation.

The normal, natural, and totally acceptable response, (ideally controlled enough to remain in our heads), is, “You’re [expletive] [combo expletive option] right it’s ‘YOUR BAD’! Whose else would it be?!”

Often, “My bad” is just as progressive as "I’m sorry” can be for children and young adults. They have no real desire to address, acknowledge, or investigate the ins-and-outs of their mistakes, so they offer a transition phrase with the intention of moving things along. Sometimes it may be meant to convey “I understand”, sometimes it may be meant to convey “get off my back”. Either way, it can be infuriating to those of use attempting to teach them an appropriate way of doing things or give them advice on how to improve their own standing and performance.

But what if? What if we were able to turn the tables on their attempt to sidestep a situation? What if we were able to use their moment of weakness to empower them? What if we could take “My bad” and help turn it into their good?

The Task

When do young, growing humans need more empowerment than in their most embarrassing, vulnerable moments? More, how do we help empower the ones who are passing on those failures as insignificant and meaningless? Entering into the task should be perceived as a contract, and a contract which comes with a failure clause: you may not succeed and that is just part of the deal. Understanding this before attempting anything is paramount to the “growth success” of the task.

With that understanding, (or those teachings after we have worked with individuals to embrace that reality), why not take “my bad” and agree with them? Not in the sense we all love to mentioned above, but in a way that acknowledges their part in the result as powerful and purposeful.

In the midst of a culture with a “victim mindset”, at least these individuals are expressing their own role in the story-line of their lives. Let’s take “My bad” and encourage our young subjects to take that same control and apply it to making amends or turning the tides. It is a simple concept, but one that will trap them in their own influence upon their life and their circumstance. Even if just for that one “ah-ha” moment while they are trying to process or deflect a moment of missing the mark, we can not only support them but help to train the instinct of immediately seeing the first step to recovery.

Simple but effective.

Own your “My bad”.

Own Your I

Extended Research

There are some sources that say former NBA Player Manute Bol may have actually lead the popular use of the phrase.

https://www.visualthesaurus.com/cm/wordroutes/the-manute-bol-theory-of-my-bad/

Competitive Wellness Series - The Mantra

Our daily routines define us. (Equally, not having daily routines defines us just the same, no implication that either is "right" or "better", but let's consider not having a routine, a routine, for the sake of simplicity of the first sentence of this blog post). 

Our daily routines range from our actions, to our words, to our thoughts. Each choice we make is establishing, within us, avenues. However, this is not like the continuous and endless construction to highways where you have some time to adjust either to warning signs, receive detour help, or know well in advance that work is going to be done on a specific path. No, this is a labyrinth. This is ever-changing, change-resulting, resulting-madness toward personal transcendence. Our improvement being the reward for the struggles and efforts.

Ok, deep breath. Example: It rains on a day you were planning on an outdoor activity. You become upset. You emotionally attach to the weather via your disappointment. The next time it rains, plans or not, you remember that disappointment. There's potential, after a few more, unchecked, rainy days, that you simply become disappointed when it rains. (Oversimplified, yes, but check the science on it). 

It doesn't take much for us to fall into emotional, mental, and physical responses to our environment. But simple, controlled thoughts and actions can help us regain control. 

Enter: the Mantra. Traditionally having a religious connotation, a mantra is simply a sound, word, or slogan repeated frequently to aid in concentration and focus. 

Something that is yours that you can inject into your life at the positive moments to enhance or at the negative moments to regain control and perspective is as accessible as a single, deliberate word. 

Think of the applications. Work becomes overwhelming before you even arrive at the office because of something that happened at home or on the road to work. Reset with your mantra. You need a boost of confidence before trying something new. Re-energize with your mantra. You're faced with a pressure situation. Relax with your mantra. 

Think of the implications. Comfort, confidence, dominance, a perspective that allows for minimized damage and maximized growth. 

The practice of reciting a mantra has no minimum age limit. I mean, personally it would be more relevant when we knew words and had an awareness of our selves. But does not a soothing sound repeated to a distressed infant have the same positive effect? 

Young athletes, now is the time to begin your practice of mantras. Pre-game, in-game, post-game, there is no bad time to reset your mind to the purpose at hand. Find something simple and begin applying it in safe situations. Get out of bed in the morning to a mantra of positivity and success for the coming day. As you gain confidence in your own ability to gain confidence, to feel control, begin to apply this to all aspects of life. In time you'll find that standing at the free-throw line in the final minute of a close game is nothing a few words can't knock down. (Or some other cliched sports ending). 

Suggested searches: mantra, neural pathways, mantras and muscle memory

______________________________

I've got my new one all primed for the new school year, focusing on being present and maximizing the moments. 

Become now.

I've also put it on a shirt, feel free to jump on board: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/MoralCompassTraining/become+now?q=I1017294747